Monday, Monday: DAMMIT!

After a weekend visiting my family and indulging in birthday cake, pizza, spaghetti with homemade sauce *Y*U*M* and M&Ms, I was pretty determined to start my week out well. ARGH! A bout of insomnia on Sunday around 3am kept me in bed until 7 on Monday, which meant I wasn't going to have a chance to work out all day or evening.

Shit.

On Saturday, I did have a GREAT walk in the strange November warmth, and it felt good to move like that, but it doesn't make me sweat the way INSANITY does. I knew I had to get back to it and really give it a go. Monday was shot, and I decided to start all over again at the beginning of the INSANITY schedule. Monday would've been the "fit test" day with this plan. However, I know what my fit test would indicate: I'm still an out-of-shape fat ass.

Today is Tuesday. I pulled myself out of bed and headed upstairs to meet Shaun T and endure the Plyometric Cardio Circuit. This is the one that is about 42 minutes long, and he begins with those killer warmups: suicide drills, the Heisman, mummies (which are SO much harder than they look!), jumping jacks, etc. These intervals are about 3 and a half minutes long each, but there is NO rest for the weary between them. After the warmup, I am sucking wind and am very sweaty.

However, after you do three sets of these brutal warmup exercises, you are rewarded with a stretch...but remember that Shaun T doesn't take stretching lightly! It's a serious part of the workout to ensure that you are warm when you stretch those muscles, a preventative measure against injury. Shaun T is serious about your form and protecting your body from harm, so he gives a six minute stretch that are similar to many yoga poses we've all done for years, but there is no "touchy feely" bullshit here; even the stretches feel hard. First of all, we never, ever get to sit down to stretch, and these stretches focus on your core and balance, so everything is engaged while you're doing them.

The beauty of this six minute stretch, apart from the relief from the warm up, is that you are now down to about 23 minutes of working out left to your day! WHOO HOO! I am all about being "halfway done"...

But, the rest of the workout is a killer, including this horrible thing he calls "Level One Drill". Basically, this is the squat thrust you reviled in your childhood gym class during those stupid Presidential Fitness Weeks. In a cruel and creative twist, Shaun has you squat out into a plank position, do four push-ups, and then do this kind of "running man" in a starter's position. BRUTAL. I am so slow and pathetic on these, and I definitely have to do the push-ups on my knees. I am on my KNEES and I still can't keep up!

He also does these "in and out" core exercises, where you are again in a plank position pulling your legs in and out. Keep those butts DOWN, he says. But it's SO HARD to keep my butt down. I don't know where I am feeling this the most: my legs? my shoulders? my abs? Why can't I do this????

And just when I'm feeling so defeated, WHOO HOO we get a 30 second break. Never has 30 seconds flown by so quickly.

Again, there are three sets of this kind of brutality, but I just keep telling myself, out loud - alone in my attic, that I can do this. Somehow I buy it and keep going...

When the last of the three rounds is up, we move onto more brutality, including basketball jumps, football drills, skiing downhill, and then sprinting in place. At the end, he adds in some jabs to work the core some more. This feels like a vacation after the basketball, football, and skiing I just did.

It's finally over, and the nice thing is that everyone on the DVD looks as spent as I am. These people are in incredible shape; I have to say that it is inspiring to watch them be so fit and it's someone vindicating to see them sucking wind, too. Granted, they are all working at a much higher level than I am, but I can' wait until the day I can keep up with them...and I truly believe that someday I will!

The best part of INSANITY is when it's over. See you tomorrow, Shaun T.

P.S. I weighed myself today for the fun of it. I'm at 173. My fattest ever. Just sayin'.