Three weeks in...and sleeping in.

If I don't workout in the morning, it doesn't happen. The alarm is set each morning at 5:35, giving me time to snooze and still get out of bed to work out upstairs by 6:00. If I work out any later than 6am, I can't make it to work on time. So, this is the plan every day. But, we all know that 5:35 a.m. is early, early, early. And it's soooo tempting to sleep in.

Sleep in? Come on, Jen. You know your little guy will wake up anywhere between 6:30 and 6:45. When did sleeping until 6:30 become sleeping in? Oh, right...when I became a mother.

The hardest part is that Jack loves to crawl into our bed after he wakes up and snuggle with John and me...what could be better? And working full-time this year, I certainly miss my snuggle time with him.

Between the exhaustion of working full time, the false sense of "sleeping in" and the missing the cuddling, I'm getting killed in terms of getting a workout in. Man, does this add to the self-loathing and the lack of energy. So, I've made the commitment and purchased the INSANITY DVDs; they've been in my possession for three weeks now...and I've done about a week and a half of them. They are so FREAKING hard...did I mention that I'm out of shape?

So, how to get my ass out of bed? Mind trickery! Yesterday I told myself I'd get out of bed and do some yoga. I like yoga - it's good for the mind and body and psyche. Once I got out of bed, I realzed that what my body needed was a good sweat. I was so cranky the day before - and I knew it was because it had been a week of "sleeping in" and general laziness taking over my body. Bad for the mind and body and psyche!

I thought, "OK, no Shaun T today. I give you permission to not do that to yourself today. Go for a walk instead." A quick check of the temp outside showed that it was 26 degrees in Syracuse. OUCH. No walk. Head upstairs and do the damn INSANITY workout.

You know what? I SUCKED. It was so freaking hard. I guzzled water like mad and sweated every ounce back out. I was slow and pathetic and pissed off. But I finished it! And that felt amazing...exhausted and whipped, but I was proud of myself.

Yesterday's workout was the Cardio Power & Resistance. I haven't done these workouts often enough to know what's coming in which DVD, but this is about 38 minutes of crazy drills: suicides, the Heisman, mountain climbers, jumping jacks, etc. So, once I got started I realized how HARD this one was (p.s. - they all are hard) but I sucked it up and just got into it.

Shaun T is motivating and not annoying - I actually like spending my early mornings with him. He is in amazing shape, gives great cueing and reminds you of your form throughout. The most annoying thing he does is refer to himself in the third person every once in a while. Jen finds that a bit unneccessary.

I am not kidding; I really sucked ass on this workout. I was sweating like a maniac and I could feel my stomach fat bouncing around during the jumping portions. I really hate that, and usually that's enough for me to stop and do a lot of negative self talk like, 'You're a big fat-ass and always will be so give it up.' Yes, I suffered through the fat jiggling on my belly and the ache in my legs and the serious sweat pouring into my sports bra.

And that was just the warmup. Shaun T's warmups are heinous...there are three three-minute brutal segments that repeat at a faster and more intense rate. You want to die, and that is just the warmup.

But thank you, Shaun T, for your amazing, well-timed stretch. These are basically yoga poses I've been doing my whole life, but for some reason they are harder and held longer in INSANITY. And he just does them - no fancy yoga names or breathing or any of that shit. It's INSANITY, man. There is nothing frou-frou about any part of this routine.

So, by the time you get to the "actual" workout, there are maybe 23 minutes left. Thank you, Lord Jesus. Your mind tells you, "I can do this! It's only like 20 minutes...that can't kill me." Oh, but yes, it can! Twenty-three minutes of hell - including the stretch at the end - and you're done. It's over. And you feel like you could die, go back to bed, or lay on the floor for the rest of the day. But, you know, work is calling...and I've gotta get in the shower.

I find Jack is sitting in bed, watching Dora. "You all done esercisin', Mommy?". Yep - it was worth giving up the snuggling to feel as amazing and proud of myself as I did at that moment. I felt like I put myself first, and amazingly both Jack and I survived.